Pappa wants mamma naked
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Randomize
