Well apparently he's into motor boating.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
