I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
