i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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