Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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