people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
