You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
