Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
