She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
