It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
