Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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