why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
