I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
