ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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