That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
