i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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