drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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