Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You made out with two different species that night
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
