I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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