Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
