So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
