I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
