help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize