someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
