I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
there is glitter all over my balls
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