Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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