She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
