yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize