I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
