i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
