i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
