Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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