Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
