I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
