You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
