I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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