Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
