oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How external is "for external use only"?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize