you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
