Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
