I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
