I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
