Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
