You really coming over, don't trick.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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