hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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