so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
