his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize