i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
