Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
