Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
