hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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