My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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