I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
