it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
