Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
