Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize