I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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